with equal parts compassion & hilarity

Did you forget to Spring Ahead?

People of the interwebs: did you forget to Spring Ahead? Or, was it more like “I Sprang Ahead, but didn’t realize it because #technology.”?

I fall into the second category, which is potentially more embarrassing. It is also significantly less exciting because it does not warrant a good story. Er, ahem, ahem:

March 2016: Daylight Savings Time

Once upon a March Sunday, it was daylight savings time. It was a time to Spring Ahead, AKA: joy, let us celebrate the loss of an hour. Alexis was so on top of things she even reminded her coworkers on Friday of the upcoming bi-annual phenomenon. Alexis had a busy Friday night and Saturday working, enjoying the uncharacteristically warm weather and abstaining from WiFi. She forgot all about the upcoming clock change!

After a bit of not so light reading: Jonathan Kozol on the (in)equality of America’s public school system, Alexis fell asleep. Awaking to her persistent (READ: profoundly aggravating) internal alarm clock that somehow consistently ignores the mental command “OFF”, she checked her iPhone groaning as it revealed there were still thirty-two minutes before the alarm was set to go off. Ah well. Alexis then reluctantly proceeded to get ready for early service anxious for the caffeine rush from the 12 oz complimentary cup of Breakfast Blend coffee.

On the short commute the sun seemed more dull than normal (“huh”), but without giving it much of a second thought Alexis cranked up T-Swift until arriving at her destination. She was also basically on time which was weird. Er, church time: about 5 minutes late. So, yes, still on time.

In the coffee line (longer than expected – apparently that’s what happens when you’re on time for things – she won’t be making that mistake again!), Alexis overheard a snippet of conversation regarding how most attendees have been on time despite the time change. Like any smart educated young person, Alexis put two and two together to equate four. The sun, the time change… Daylight savings time! She had completely forgotten and was still on time for church.

The End

See? Wah, wah, wah. Not even a cool story, bro.

Basically, I feel as if the intelligence of my relatively newly acquired smart phone has robbed me of the full experience of daylight savings time which concerns me for two primary reasons:

  1. I did not get a good story.
  2. How will I “learn my lesson” for next time?

I suppose I must resort to merely cherishing childhood memories of arriving to an empty church parking lot with Mom driving + siblings in tow. If I recall correctly, it was usually Mom and not Dad driving. In fact, Mom seems to have a good story every daylight savings time. Truly though, there is nothing quite like experiencing awareness slowly wash over you as you acknowledge your mistake (ugh, third year in a row!) and continue to drive fully circling the church. Then, the family unit heads home with at least one person either in tears from laughter or frustration. The cause for tears seemed to be highly correlated with how this person’s morning started off; i.e. with a nice hot shower or a hurried cold shower – ya snooze ya lose!

What was your story this year?

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