with equal parts compassion & hilarity

Please Laugh With Me As “Alexis Cooks A Vegetable”

Friends, have you heard of the Whole 30? It’s a pretty cool movement. The basic rules are these:

  • No added sugar or artificial sweeteners
  • No alcohol
  • No grains
  • No legumes
  • No dairy

Whole 30 suggests you “think of it as a short-term nutritional reset, designed to help you put an end to unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system”. 

I have friends who could rave to you about the great benefits of this food experiment. Such ravings (paired with a twisted desire to challenge myself in relatively absurd ways which seems to be a pattern in my life) convinced me to research, buy the book and vow to begin Day 1 on April 4, 2016. If you are not aware, April 4, 2016 is currently happening.

However, after some additional thought and taking into consideration my hectic schedule working a few different jobs among deftly fielding the other varieties life brings I ultimately decided it is not necessary to voluntarily introduce such dramatic stress into my life. I could do it even though when people ask what I like to eat I rarely miss a beat in responding “carbs”. I know I can do it. I will do it one day. Just not on this day. Perhaps this can be summed up best by my explanation to my mother:

      “Mom, so you know I said I was going to start the Whole 30 tomorrow?”

      “Yes, I remember.”

      “Well, I’m actually not going to because I don’t really want to – HA.”

End of conversation.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? Talking to my mother really helps me to simplify things.

It got me to thinking though, I could definitely start eating more fruits and vegetables. I could get adventurous even and perhaps learn a thing or two about cooking. The latter half of that sentence is especially noteworthy because I am notoriously hilarious in the kitchen. Growing up, my family refused (not jokingly) to eat the baked goods or cooked dishes I struggled to create. Again, this was not in jest or in good fun. They were simply in fear for their taste buds, or maybe their lives. What’s the difference, really?  

That in mind, my ideal kitchen more closely resembles a dance floor as opposed to a standard kitchen designed for cooking. In fact, I’d like this to hang in my kitchen because I could rock the dancing much more than the cooking. Plus, isn’t there just something so #dreamyromantic about slow dancing in the kitchen? But, I’m game for all kinds of dancing.

So, today I am introducing my first ever series: Alexis Cooks A Vegetable. Fairly self-explanatory, I’ll try cooking up a new vegetable every other week and share with you all of the hilarious mistakes I make. After all, it’s no fun to laugh alone! Stay tuned this week as I experiment with. . .  

(See what I did there? Suspense. That’s what I did there. Now you have to stay tuned because the suspense will probably kill you eventually if you don’t.)

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