with equal parts compassion & hilarity

Full Moon Friday…Oh My

“It’s a full moon on Friday.

That’s tomorrow.

…Oh my.”

The “full moon phenomenon” is somewhat of a running joke where I spend a large portion of my time and maybe a bit of a running joke where you spend a large portion of your time too. This time can be broadly referred to as customer service. Customer service is comprised of the moments when you’re dealing with an especially difficult person and you need to remind yourself to focus on breathing (in, out, in, out, out, in, in, in…wiceait, what is happening here?!). It is the moments when you frantically think: “I love people. I really do. I love people. I love people. WHY? Because Jesus loves me. But, I can’t be this bad, right? Eh, who am I kidding, I probably am. I love people. I love people. Help.”

Afterwards you employ coping mechanisms – some healthier than others. Perhaps you pursue carbs either in the form of pistachio muffins or Grain Belt, “The Friendly Beer“. Perhaps you write a blog. Perhaps you run it off. Perhaps you cry or scream into a pillow. [not that I do any or none or all of these]

It’s just hard sometimes, you know? It seems to be even harder on a full moon. I’m not sure what it is exactly. The eeriness of the full moon throws everyone a little bit off their game. It offsets the entire balance of the human population – regular patterns are suddenly changed and you find yourself in a different place than usual on Friday at 3:37 p.m. pondering deep thoughts such as, Where am I? What am I doing here? Who am I? What is the purpose of life?

Those are merely the minor effects. The greatest effects of a full moon are observed by employees of the customer service industry. It is as if all the difficult people you could have ever dreamed up appear with an impossible, insane and/or ridiculous request from you. And, if they don’t get it within .34 seconds you will bear the brunt of their misplaced frustration which, historically, is a fairly ugly situation.

You may think this is a joke. It’s not. The phenomenon is real. Take my word for it, my friend I quoted above and the mailman who also works patrol part time. He verifies that “the crazies come out” – the jail is fuller and even more so when the night is cloudless. Again, I cannot certainly explain why this occurs, but I do know that it is real. Well, actually science tells us that the phenomenon isn’t real and this article on mental_floss suggests that people are “just that crazy all the time.” But, how reliable is science really anyway?

In my time with customer service, I have learned that it is possible to get through the day with just a little preparation.

So, are you ready for the full moon on Friday? Have you..

  • mentally prepared yourself?
  • mindfully practiced great patience all week?
  • picked out your outfit of all black because wearing all black makes you feel powerful?
  • decided which shade of red lipstick to apply #bold?
  • cried within the last 72 hours to prevent any chance of a breakdown in front of other humans?verbal
  • stocked up on chocolate? #treatyoself

I’m rooting for you to have a good day, friend.

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