with equal parts compassion & hilarity

ACAV: Spaghetti Squash

First, a brief intro to Alexis Cooks A Vegetable.

I decided to make spaghetti squash for my mom because I wanted to show off my stellar cooking skills and be flooded with positive verbal affirmation. I may not know what I’m doing in life yet, but I can sure cook a darn tasty spaghetti squash.

I have cooked a spaghetti squash before. During college, my coworker, who also doubles as a very talented opera singer, suggested I try it. It is a much healthier alternative to regular spaghetti noodles and it’s a little bit more exciting to eat mainly because it is a little bit crunchy. I like a little crunch, you know?

The best part about a spaghetti squash is how challenging it is to mess up thus making it my kind of vegetable. Like, you really have to be intentional in failing. 

Ahem, that being said, this time it didn’t go quite as planned, but it wasn’t my fault. I swear. It was the oven.

Are you just dying to see a picture? Well, you can’t. Not yet. I am all about the suspense, the no peeking and the no raiding Mom’s closet for Christmas presents. So, before I show you a picture, you must read the recipe I created for you.

Preparation

  1. Buy a spaghetti squash. My friend sent me this link because she thinks I need help or something. I don’t know. Anyway, it will teach you to pick out the best spaghetti squash, the money spaghetti squash. Money spaghetti squashes are similar to money beets. FYI: spaghetti squash is not listed. I think any squash is comparable though. Pro cooking tip from Alexis: if
    it’s roughly the same, it’s roughly the same and will probably work out just fine.
  2. Bring it home, giddy, as you fantasize about how wonderful this will taste because you are such a wonderful cook.
  3. Preheat the oven to whatever Google tells you. Google says 375 degrees. Always do what Google says. Google is never wrong.
  4. Viciously stab the spaghetti squash. Think Dwight on beach day. Is there anything you can’t learn from Dwight? 
  5. Line a pan with tin foil and place spaghetti squash on pan.

Cooking

  1. Put pan in the oven for 30 minutes.
  2. Take it out of the oven.
  3. Cut the spaghetti squash in half the hot dog way. This is the trickiest part so try not to over think which way is the hot dog way. Absolutely do not cut the spaghetti squash the hamburger way.
  4. Put it back in the oven for 30 minutes.
  5. Take it out of the oven.

The Thing That Comes After Cooking

  1. In an ideal world, the spaghetti squash would not look like this. Since I live in reality and not in an ideal world, the appearance of the spaghetti squash was reminiscent of that of a cow. Seriously, what happened here?
  2. Don’t burn your fingers as you flip the halves over.
  3. Use a fork to scrape the squash out.
  4. Add butter or marinara sauce or spaghetti meat sauce or nothing.
  5. Thank God for the blessing of vegetables.

Ultimately-s (which can be applied to any food)

  1. Eat all of the food.
  2. Love the food (even if it is a little burnt).
  3. Love the cook (even if you think the cook needs help).

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