This is not an original idea. Please cut me some slack, because, honestly, are there any original thoughts or ideas left in the world?
In Mindy Kaling’s book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)” she has a short chapter on the abnormal and non-sentimental things that make her cry. It is hilarious. Actually, her entire book is hilarious. I was recommended to read the book from a wise friend named Kate. Basically, when Kate suggests you do something you immediately curse yourself for not doing it 15 years ago.
I like to brainstorm affectionate titles for Kate should she ever become Queen of the World or something. Here’s what I’ve got so far: Kate The Wise One, Kate The Beautifully Brave, Fiercely Fearless Kate, Kate The Cool Commander, Elegant Kate With Untamed Hair and Kate: A Fearless WOMAN WARRIOR. You probably want to be Kate’s friend. You will never be Kate’s friend because I’m kidnapping her, we’re traveling to Europe in just over a month, marrying beautiful foreign men, never leaving and going to be next door neighbors until we die. Yes, folks, she’s really seriously that great.
Anyway, since I did not read the book 15 years ago, I did the next best thing and visited Amazon to buy the book with two-day shipping courtesy of Prime. I think I can give myself a break for not reading the book 15 years ago because 1) the book wasn’t published 15 years ago and 2) I was only six years old then.
As a six-year-old my two primary concerns were not getting tagged by the boys at recess (I rarely did because I ran way faster than the boys and, if we’re keeping things real here, I could probably still outrun a few of them) and not angering my first grade teacher. Rumors were shared that one time my first grade teacher got so angry that said teacher threw a desk across the room. Naturally, my six-year-old self envisioned said teacher (who was approaching retirement) powerfully rising up, red-faced, and screaming while throwing a desk across the room after skinny little Alexis continued to talk too loud. I’m still a little bit afraid.
Back to Mindy Kaling. She’s funny and also the story editor for The Office. The Office is the best show in the world. Coincidentally, Kate The Wise One introduced us to each other. Like Mindy Kaling, I am funny. (Did you know that?) I’d say I’m not so much funny to look at, but funny to listen to, read and watch during an intense game of charades or regular conversation. Also like Mindy Kaling, I sometimes (READ: frequently) cry. Some things I cry about are more silly than others. Here is my not entirely comprehensive list of things I have cried or am presently crying over:
- Literally any children’s book. A few prime examples are Shel Silverstein’s “The Giving Tree” or when my mom reads Tom Hegg’s “A Cup Of Christmas Tea” aloud at Christmastime. It is tradition that she reads it, my sister sheds a few tears, I cry hysterically and that my brother rolls his eyes.
- The Christmas Shoes song. A more memorable experience with this song occurred during my AP Government class of Senior year. My classmates were uncertain with how to handle my emotion: “Do you think we should sing her a happy song?” No, nothing will ever possibly make me feel better.
- Sometimes when people are just so incredibly genuine. “NAME, I can see you doing really great things.” WHAT. I can’t handle that kind of stuff.
- One time when my roommate did my make up and I looked #dynamite. I promise this is a good story. I’m working on writing it so subscribe to if you want to be notified of its graceful appearance on Goods of a Soul. It was a fairly complex evening of learning for me and also just ridiculous enough to be a little funny.
- When I run anything longer than 15 miles. I sob steadily throughout the day. I hear it’s not totally uncommon. Like, maybe one other person in the world reacts the same way.
- Season 7, Episode 21 of The Office: “Goodbye, Michael”. Michael Scott leaves Dunder-Mifflin to move to Colorado. Pure devastation.
There you have it. I bet you know more about me that you ever thought you would. I think there’s worse things in life though.
What are the things that make you cry? What is the most ridiculous thing that you have cried over?