with equal parts compassion & hilarity

When I Decided to Go to Europe

It was one of those afternoons where things are slow at work and the few people who you do speak with seem to just incredibly annoy you. It wasn’t even a full moon! At least I hadn’t spilled water all over my desk, keyboard and glasses. Still, it was an afternoon that created the perfect recipe for negative personal feelings because you are annoyed and then began to question why you are doing what you are doing which causes you to begin to question literally everything about your life and dwell on your irrational fears.

Suddenly, you stumble across a link for TED TALKS to watch when you don’t know what to do with your life. Yes! Your plan tonight has been established: watch the Ted Talks and create a life plan.

After your haircut in which you chopped off all your hair you feel so jazzed. You are a new person. When the hair stylist asks you, “So, what are you going to do now? Go after your dream job?”, you start to think that maybe you should do exactly that. You don’t know what your dream job is per say, but the Ted Talks should help with that, right?

On your drive home, you are giddy as you fluff your hair and obnoxiously smell the hair product that is too great a luxury for your meager income. You feel fearless and bold. Seriously, what is it about a new hair cut? You text your friend: “Kate, I’m in – let’s book that flight to Frankfurt.” (Honestly, I made a typo in that text message, but I hoped Kate wouldn’t say anything. Because she’s a wonderful person with a golden heart, she didn’t.)

You also accidentally crash your coworker/neighbor’s second date with a man named Jordan. Somehow you find yourself standing in between them in the middle of her apartment. Promptly and bluntly you excuse yourself immediately upon discovering it is their second date.

Then, you proceed to draft your two weeks notice which makes you feel oddly uncertain so you stop, deciding to table that action for an undetermined period of time.

You opt to celebrate these major decisions with a lavish dinner of jalapeno cheddar brats, frozen green beans and a warm orange. For a moment that lasted a few seconds too long, you sincerely debate eating the green beans with a spoon. All the forks were dirty and you thought to yourself “I’m in far too good of a mood to do the dishes. Treat yo self.” But, you washed a fork because at some point you need to adult. Baby steps, right?

Also and obviously, you indulge in a delicious alcoholic drink. Okay, beer. Okay, cheap Michelob Golden Light beer. Let’s not get too crazy on treating yo self. You’re not salaried – you still only get paid hourly.

Now, in present day time, I reflect back on these moments when I decided to go to Europe with a sense of satisfied joy. Especially that haircut. Mmm, my hair looked good and made me feel so good. Clearly. I mean, I felt confident enough to commit to backpacking Europe. It’s been a few months since I have made a large, rash decision.

Therefore, I plan to soon schedule an appointment and am eager to see what large, rash decision I make afterwards. I can taste the struggle between responsibility and spontaneity now – oh, the anticipation for the afterwards moments of the haircut has me nearly in shambles! Don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted.

Featured photo courtesy of unsplash.com

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