with equal parts compassion & hilarity

Unexpected utterances of two years of marriage

Bride and groom giving speech with a brightly lit white background

photo credit: Sophie Grace Photography

This week John and I are celebrating two years of marriage. It’s today, actually. Yes, St. Patrick’s Day. No, we didn’t have green beer at the wedding—that is our biggest regret! We’re celebrating two years which means that we’re still pretty new at being married and therefore still trying to find the balance between “Wow, I love absolutely everything about you” and “Why are you the way that you are?”.

Today, on our anniversary, we’re in the messy middle of social distancing and speculating about when there will be rice available at Aldi again, but we decided to follow through with our original plan of buying expensive seafood and cooking a fancy meal to celebrate the occasion.

It feels silly to think about spending money on seafood when it seems like the rest of the world is fearfully stocking up on non-perishables, but we’re doing it anyway because celebrating is a heck of a lot more fun and fruitful than worrying and living in fear.

Also, we’re doing it because we must. We must still celebrate. We must recognize the grace and beauty of relationship. We must draw nearer together to our closest loved ones even as we’re being instructed to distance ourselves socially. We must still keep doing normal things in this uncertainty. We must because it keeps us whole and helps us remember how to stay grounded.

So, since John and I still pretty green at wearing our Mr. + Mrs. titles, I’m not sharing a post about marriage, per se. Rather, I’m simply sharing some of the more hilarious bits that have been spoken by us in our short two years together.

The following utterances are unexpected, real, and spoken from places of joy, frustration, love, and imperfection. They give a fairly accurate glimpse into what marriage is sometimes like—I can’t help but think that every marriage consists of a series of similar unexpected utterances, not just ours. Ultimately, I’m sharing them because they make me laugh and laughter connects people and don’t you think we could all stand to be a bit more connected?

Take these utterances with a grain of salt and, for goodness’ sake, don’t take us too seriously. We sure don’t!

“You know, we’re actually pretty privileged. Not every couple has the sheer time to argue/discuss for three hours straight on a Sunday afternoon.”

“I literally cannot even watch you fold laundry. It’s giving me anxiety.”

“Sometimes, I literally fantasize about making my own decisions again.”

“Me too.”

“I love you. I heard a sad song and it made me miss you.”

“Can you pick your booger up off the floor today?


(okay, that one wasn’t entirely unexpected)

“Are you okay?”

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“Well, you just screamed so I thought something was wrong.”

“Oh, weird. Yeah, I’m totally fine.”

“When I asked you to take the recycling out a few days ago, did you also recycle the recycling bin?”

“For the love of everything good in the world, can you please cut your toenails?”

“Um, have you brushed your teeth today?”

“Uhh, I think? Wait, no, I haven’t yet. Wow, is my breath really that bad?”

“Well…yes. It is that bad. You should definitely brush your teeth.”

“Wow, I feel so embarrassed. Geez, thanks for telling me. It wasn’t even on my radar.”

I have two requests of you—

  1. Please, please, please share with me some unexpected utterances from your relationship with your significant other! Leave your words in the comment box below.
  2. What normal thing are you doing to keep yourself whole and grounded today? (Me? I’m cooking a meal with my husband and sharing funny utterances.)

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4 Responses to “Unexpected utterances of two years of marriage”

  1. Alex Kizima

    After being proposed to in Glacier Nat. Park and spending a while week together, we had an 18 hour train ride home where we sat side by side. Half way home, I looked at my new fiance and said, “After this weekend, I’m going to need some space.” 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

      • Ashley Davy

        *as water is sleeping out of under our kitchen sink*
        “Do you remember when I said we can’t do the dishes and run the laundry at the same time?”
        “I do now…”
        “So now you’re doing laundry, running the dishwasher, and doing the dishes… Did you also shower and flush the toilet while you were at it?”
        😅 My bad

        Liked by 1 person

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